Monthly Archives: February 2019

Cancer in abeyance, a cold and broken hallelujah

breast cancer cure

“I’ve heard there was a secret chord, that David played and it pleased the Lord. But you don’t really care for music do you?

Last week I got the news every cancer patient wants to hear: Scans show No Evidence of Disease. My cancer is in abeyance.

“It goes like this, the forth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift. The baffled king composing Hallelujah.”

Do I feel a sense of relief? Do I want to scream Hallelujah? Absolutely.

“Your faith was strong but you needed proof. You saw her bathing on the roof, her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you.”

Do I want to believe there was something I did right to make this happen? Yes, again. But I also know better.

“She tied you to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne and cut your hair, and from your lips she drew the hallelujah.”

Yes, cancer has been that evil mistress who has thrown me to the ground, made me say uncle, then laughed at me mockingly as I struggled to get back up. Cut my hair? Hell, she sheared it right down to the scalp. And when chemo was done and it started to grow back, yes, she drew from my lips a hallelujah.

“Baby, I have been here before. I know this room. I’ve walked this floor. I used to live alone before I knew you.”

Even with cancer in abeyance, I no longer live alone. She lurks like a shadow within me, rogue cells slithering undetected in my blood, my bones, my organs. As I get back to my life, I struggle with this acceptance. That it’s not over. That it will never be really over. Not until there’s a cure.

“I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch. [Cancer] is not a victory march. It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah.”

It will return. I try to put that out of my head. I try to celebrate this moment, this win. I celebrate with a broken hallelujah.

“There was a time you let me know what’s real and going on below. But now you never show it to me do you? And I remember when I moved in you. The holy dark was moving to and every breath we drew was hallelujah”

A time when I could trust my body, the idea that if I was feeling healthy, I was healthy. That if everything seemed OK, it was.

“Maybe there’s a God above and all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you.”

There was a time when everything was clear cut. When I aimed at a target and hit a bullseye, I was done. I’d made my mark and could move on.

“It’s not a cry you can hear at night. It’s not somebody who’s seen the light. It’s a cold and broken hallelujah”

I can not explain what it’s like to live a life turned-upside down, to fight to bask in the light of good news in this moment, despite the darkness that certainly lies ahead. Yes, it’s a cold and broken hallelujah.

All the same, it is hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah.

 – Quotes are lyrics to”Hallelujah” by Leonard Cohen.

 

 

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#Worldcancerday fosters bonkers advice

#worldcancerdayToday is #worldcancerday and forgive me if I’m a bit cynical. But looking through Google’s news feed on the subject,  I can’t help but wonder if today is the day journalists dug into their pile of press releases to see which ones mentioned cancer, then just regurgitated the information without doing any real research or asking meaningful questions.
Don’t get me wrong. There’s a lot of really great news out there about cancer and the potential for a cure.
But there’s also a lot of craziness that needs debunking. I get why spreading the misinformation is so popular. No one wants to think that there’s nothing they can do to protect themselves from this insidious disease. The truth is though, you really can’t: 85% of all cancers are caused by pure genetic bad luck; 5% are also the result of bad genetics that are known, such as women with the BRCA gene who have a family history of breast cancer like Angelina Jolie, who famously had her boobs cut off rather than risk a chance incurring of the disease. The remaining 10% of cancer cases can be prevented, namely by not smoking. To date, the only known cancer-causing substance is nicotine.
Nonetheless, today’s headlines are filled with inaccurate cautions and prevention strategies. This story claims that if you just stay away from certain foods or certain food packaging, you’re out of the woods. I don’t dispute that carcinogens may be found in the products mentioned. I’m just saying that there’s no scientific research that proves they cause cancer. We’re exposed to carcinogens everyday.  And theoretically, enough exposure over time could lead to cancer. It’s just that at the moment we don’t know how much exposure or how much time, which makes it hard to prevent.

Then there’s this CNN story that somehow determines that a correlation between obesity and cancer somehow makes obesity a cause of cancer, particularly among millenials. Let me explain something about correlations and how they’re derived. You take one number, such as how many people are obese and plug it into a fancy formula with another number, such as how many people have cancer. If it produces a high percentage – say 80% – then mathematicians say there’s a correlation. So let’s say you take the number of pizzas sold at your local pizza place on Superbowl Sunday and match it with the number of kitten videos posted on #Caturday on Twitter and plug it into the same formula to find an 80% correlation. As a rational human being, do you really see a correlation? And can you extrapolate from it that pizza orders on Superbowl Sunday cause out-of-control cat video postings on Twitter on a given Saturday?

MD Anderson’s Dr. George Chang, who’s quoted in the CNN story, says it best: “The study was not set up to establish causation. We know there are many factors that are associated with both obesity and cancer, such as lack of exercise and poor diet. How much each of those factors contribute to cancer is less clear.” Somehow that information is buried deep within the story.

Then there’s this well-meaning piece that confuses early detection with preventable deaths when what they’re really trying to prevent is costly treatment.

“By detecting cancer at its earliest stage, we seize the greatest opportunity to prevent millions of avoidable deaths worldwide,” the Union of International Cancer Control’s chief executive officer Dr Cary Adams said. But read a little further and really what he’s suggesting is that detecting cancer can buy five year’s worth of life, which really isn’t a cure and certainly doesn’t prevent millions of deaths. Perhaps prevents millions of premature deaths would be more accurate.

The real news on World Cancer Day is what’s being done to cure cancer or at least make it a manageable disease. Unfortunately that information hasn’t percolated through Google’s news feed, although it did make my inbox. Take for example this update from the Cancer Research Institute on what’s on the horizon for immunotherapy. As CRI’s review notes, if diet has any impact on cancer at all, research shows it’s through a healthy gut microbiome. That means eating more yogurt, high-fiber foods and fermented foods or drinks such as kimchi or kombucha. Somehow that point has been missed by all the “prevention” and “eat this not that” enthusiasts.

 

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